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Twenty Things You Should've Never Done For That Klondike Bar

Said hello to someone you knew on the street- now you’re in a conversation, dumb ass.

Occupied an independent bookstore for too long.

Attempted to solve the pythagorean theorem for free.

Proposed an idea for a new pasta shape Barilla wanted nothing to do with. 

Engaged in physical combat with a mascot. 

Trusted a penguin you encountered in a city. 

Messed with the wrong fish at the pet store. 

Typed in your social security number when self-checking out a pound of grapes at the supermarket because you were prompted to. 

Over-appreciated your bank teller for “giving” you all that money. 

Revised the park rules and posted them to the parks and recreation website as a non-employee.

Tried to put your boss to work. 

Challenged the samurai by an ocean. 

Locked yourself in a public bathroom until no one noticed. 

Deposited $4,000 in an online foreign bank account for someone named KlondikeKing3000.

Disputed a parking ticket with the street itself.

Conspired against a force bigger than you but not limited to Kroger and Shoprite. 

Got ready without yourself.

Bit an onion as a dare.

Given up on game night. 

Become a bed frame. 

Copyright © 2024 Oona O'Brien. All rights reserved.


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